Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness - My Story
Whether you have gone through a loss, or you have a friend or family member that has - I hope this post brings you support & love.
I had a miscarriage between Ayla & Rosie. It was right before Christmas a few years ago & we were planning to announce it at Christmas. I was about 14 weeks along and was completely blindsided when I found out.
As you can imagine we were devastated. I cried, a lot. I felt so much pain. I felt so empty, so sad and totally out of it. I was incredibly grateful however that I had a lot to hold onto.
Everyone is unique, but what helped me get through such a difficult loss was counting every single one of my blessings. I reminded myself that I was okay, healthy, and strong.
I prayed, I cried, I felt the pain. I gave myself space to grieve. I read a lot and I accepted the love pouring in from everyone around me.
It was really hard for me to face friends and family during this time. I felt so delicate, so fragile.
I wanted to share a few tips and even some "what not to say" to someone who has experienced a loss 👇🏽
Keep in mind - this is not a straightforward journey & everyone handles their grief differently, but here are a few things you can do to hold space for yourself.
- take time to grieve: there is no timeline or rush on this process
- talk to someone: whether it's your mom, sister, a friend who has been through something similar or a professional - be sure to talk through your emotions with someone
- do little things that bring you joy: in the midst of sadness, give yourself permission to do something you love, go out to coffee with a friend or on a date night with your spouse
Words that can hurt & what not to say to a friend experiencing loss:
"At least you CAN get pregnant" - this may seem comforting in the moment, but it can actually be hurtful
"Everything happens for a reason"
At least you already have a kid(s)
👉🏽 Words to say:
💕 I'm here for you however I can be
💕 I'm so sorry for your loss
💕 Can I drop by a coffee/dinner/dessert
Remember that your loved ones don't need an explanation or opinion from you, they just need
your love 🙏🏽